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Monthly Archives: October2018

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WHERE TO FROM HERE

Chapter Nine

Second Chances, Part two

 

From someone’s terrible experience of not being attentive, there may be a life changed and not for the better. Automobile and pedestrian accidents are so often caused because of this malady. Not keeping watch of all that is going on around you can lead to taking a life. Train yourself to be trustworthy behind the wheel and keep your eyes open and on the road. Consider the facts and the statistics on this subject, the actual events that are in this category fill the news with regularity. It is not without reason that I have touched on this. Please do be careful.

I alluded to nature, in the preface, as afflicting mankind. There are many miseries that go along with what nature can hurl our way. Besides for her nasty temper with the weather, there are diseases and ailments, scourges and plagues and the earth has its moments reminding us of its abilities to destroy us as well with natural disasters. We find out from time to time just how small we are, and all our technology cannot stand up to the supernatural tantrums that can destroy in a matter of seconds. If it helps, you must be prepared for whatever is indicative for your part of the world. Making the decision to find out all that you can possibly do to spare you from harm cannot be emphasized enough. Each part of the world has certain problems with nature’s wrath, so have everything you can to help you survive and do pray for the best and everyone’s safety.

I am constantly amazed at the number of people who have not got a plan and the necessary things needed to survive. Sadly there are some disasters that are such monsters that very little can be of help when hell spends time here on earth.

I do hope that I have made my point about this and that you will always be prepared and safe, may the Lord watch over you, always, and keep His protective hand on you all of your life.

Chapter Ten

The Lessons Of History, Part one

 

History has basically been built upon one decision after another. Any major event has had to have been thought out and brought to fruition, either by the stroke of a scepter or referendum in one form or another. In some cases history was made by one individual who took it upon himself or herself to change the course of events that led to what may or may not be wise. Among the majority of these decisions, whether global in scope or more or less of a local nature, it is apparent that many people, places and things were affected by such an edict. There is Neville Chamberlain at Munich after his concessions to Adolph Hitler, proclaiming “Peace in our time,” when his ill-advised treaty only strengthen Hitler’s belief that he could prevail against the Allies.

An executive decision can be disastrous if the person in the position to do so is a complete buffoon. The results of such have made for global unrest and devastating wars, not to forget the lives that have been lost due to what may be described as a misguided monumental ego trying to lead. There are decisions made behind closed doors and the outcome of this could take a while before the public has to resort to a new way of life and adopt a new strategy.

To the outside observer there is nothing particularly striking about the new course of actions—there was no act of God, no perceptible fanaticism, and no incredible oratorical powers displayed from an ornate balcony. So, the final decision slipped by and cunningly snuck in like a slow entering wedge, and thus a new order is now added to the annals of history…and another anathema is born!

The number of lessons we could learn from the past are beyond counting. But even if only a few are retained in our gray matter, and are applied to today’s current events, we would be so much better off. Best of all people would not fall for propaganda that is obviously a means for a special interest group to get their way. Knowing the facts is a strong tool against being duped and manipulated. Sadly everyday history is repeating itself once again to brain wash the masses into believing a non-truth. So make decisions for yourself based upon knowledge that you have attained independently, seek the facts and make your wise decisions.

This brings me to yet another disturbing fact of life; there is an inordinate number of young people especially, that believe history began the day they were born!! Therefore, to them, nothing really matters from days gone by, so why study it? Well, I am going to quote “Those that do not learn from the past are doomed to repeat it!”

(continued next month)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

CHAPTER NINE

SECOND CHANCES

 

When faced with having to make a decision, most people remain fairly calm through the duration and are usually not too disappointed with the results. Seeking advice from others is certainly not out of the norm nor would it be considered wrong. Trying to go through these things alone has its merit, but if you can confide in friends or seek professional advice then by all means do so. Hopefully the outcome of this will be all you had hoped for.

God is credited for being the one most people turn to at these times. The lessons to be learned from seeking Heavenly guidance are those that one takes from one experience to the next each with it own impressive testimony and with gained wisdom.

If on the other hand you have had a bad experience due to lack of faith in Our Heavenly Father, rest assured that He has not forsaken you and you may just have a second chance to make things right. Let me make this perfectly and emphatically clear, I do not make any decisions for God, nor do I suggest that anyone be so presumptuous to even attempt such a foolish act. Such efforts can only spell doom, and may result in a manageable problem becoming impossible and leave one in a jumble of misgivings and misfortune.

To be so impatient as to race ahead of God’s calendar can have dire consequences and leave you with a shameless detachment from God’s protective hand. Now you have only your shortcomings as an accomplice with you having to muddle through the muck and mire. It is not unusual to find some bewildered scout galloping across no-man’s-land between wit and lack of common sense.

It is natural for such a temperament to find its self ensconced in a rough journey where one is blind to any rational thinking that may come their way, or for them to suddenly become a fanatical ecumenical. Unlikely but is not unheard. They may even surround themselves with an excess of religious artifacts hoping to derive some attention from Heavenly powers. Honestly, this is not the way to be looked on favorably by The Divine. His desires are for us to have a personal relationship with Him, and be a true child of The Father. Conversations with Him should be from the heart and not engulfed with ritual, but rather with sincere invocation and faith. Confess your sins to Him and praise Him for the love you have so freely received by His grace. There is nothing wrong with making an effort to purify yourself and seek Him for your needs. He is always there listening to your every prayer.

Also, feeling unaccountable for past wrongs is not the path to travel. We are all responsible for our wrong doings as well, as the good deeds we engage in. I pray just as a matte of our walk with our Lord that the latter far outweigh the former, for all of us. This is not superstition when many seem compelled to make things right with God before embarking on beseeching Our Lord for help in any given situation. Such comes with Biblical admonition. I see it as good practice and a way of staying right with the things of God. So making this a part of your spiritual life will, I am certain, prove itself to be a good decision.

However, getting back to second chances; whatever you do, do not let this become a crutch when it comes to making choices, by being so cavalier thinking that if you make a mistake you always have another chance! Be thoughtful and circumspect when a decision is in the process of being made. Having a nonchalant attitude could spell trouble if you should overlook an important bit of information by being distracted because of a lack of attention or interest.

On this subject alone I could site dozens of examples and end up with volumes about it. It is a nasty part of the human condition to be easily distracted. Attention span isn’t just relegated to the classroom, it fans out over the full spectrum of our lives. Everyone has a story about not paying attention and having some consequence befall them. So keep in mind that it covers all the things we engage in and can have both good and bad endings with it.

(continued next month.)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

the church whom we had never seen before. He had a quick smile and seemed very friendly, enjoyed the service, and would socialize with all, departing only as we did. The following Sunday he was again with us and seemed to have no difficulty in fraternizing with the congregants. He then began to show up at every service, Sunday night and even the mid-week Bible study.

It wasn’t long before he started to sit next to Ella. No one said anything, but it did seem rather strange as he was probably in his early forties. In conversations with Tom, we were to learn that he had just been released from the penitentiary serving a number of years for several offences. Still he was welcome, and he continued to attend always sitting right next to Ella. There seemed to be a mystery about him, but perhaps serving time had taken its toll on him. Yet, his jovial demeanor seemed to indicate that he had survived well his paying his dues to society.

A change was seen in Ella as well, she was wearing jewelry and just looking better all around. Her clothes were in better condition and more stylish than we were accustomed to. Even her hats were fancier, and though vintage, looked well kept. She had a bounce in her step, for the attention she was receiving from Dean was having a positive effect, with a flush on her cheeks and sporting a Mona Lisa grin. I am going to spare my imagination and just chalk it up to a schoolgirl crush. It was at this time that Tom and I moved to Los Angles to work with the Wings of Healing. However, Dean and Ella were such that one was not seen without the other. Dean now even had a car, and the couple that had always been there for her were no longer in the mix. As to where Dean had gotten the car was never discovered, but he never spoke of being employed anywhere.

One Sunday morning Ella’s seat was empty and Dean was not there either, and not for two weeks. So people stopped by her home and Dean would answer the door and tell them that Ella was not feeling well. Friends would continue to try and visit, but to no avail. Finally a neighbor would tell them that Ella had passed away, and was cremated the same day. That very night Dean was gone, and was never seen again. One thing we all knew, however, was that Ella wanted a big funeral and celebration. That was very important to her. She wanted a memorial to end all memorials, and she had asked me specifically to sing, “How Great Thou Art.” Suspicions grew but there was little that could be done, the house had been sold, all her things gone, or sold, and the money never seen, nor the “boy friend.”

Once again this brings me to anything but an artistic conclusion. The simple fact is obvious that decisions determined by flattery, caused the untimely and ultimate end of dear souls. These are stories that might be performed at the Paris Opera. But there are lessons to be learned from these accounts. Perhaps a life may be saved by the telling of such stories, for the inelegance of these tragedies lies deep in human nature. There were no cross currents of jealousy, only unbridled greed with no protection whatsoever for the innocent. What entered these unwary lives was an evil that they in their vulnerability would succumb to, and then suffered at the hands of those with no moral conscience.

 

 

 

so undeserved, but was indeed the result of her making some disastrous decision.

My Mother, her dear friend Marilyn and Margot were all close friends, and were such a joy to be around. And with my mother’s and Marilyn’s recent divorces Margot’s efforts were helping both of them overcome any periodic doldrums and heal their shattered egos. She arranged several outings and junkets, which were always such good times for all of them. I was working so I did not have the luxury of climbing into Margot’s big car and ride off of with them on some grand destination, but it was so therapeutic for my mother so appreciated Margot’s efforts. And we were able to repay her kindness with some dinner parties, and a birthday party that she vowed she would never forget!

Then came a day when Margot did not join Mother and Marilyn for their usual Christmas shopping. This was strange, but as more of their usual get-togethers were with out Margot, my Mother would call. Margot’s reply was, “I have a boyfriend!” All were pleased and accepted an invitation to meet him. However, when the day arrived they were concerned as he was many years her junior, and as the evening progressed it was obvious they were deeply involved. Some might call him handsome, and he was big and tall, but he lacked real sophistication or the finer touches that one would have thought Margot would desire in a man. He was dressed like a western version of Beau Brummel, only with extra glitz and custom alligator boots. But she seemed happy, and all kept our questions to ourselves, for Margot seemed on cloud nine.

It was a matter of accepting him now in all the activities. But as would be expected there were fewer and fewer get-togethers. Margot then made a surprise visit to my Mother. During this visit my Mother senses a change in Margot, and there were things not being said. When Margot was asked, she was adamant that she had never been happier. She had brought over a green suede coat that I had admired ages before and wanted me to have it. Mother told her I would be thrilled, but was she sure that she wanted to part with it? She was sure and also expressed that she wished that she could have given me one of her horses, for she was disposing of her stock. She and her heartthrob were going to travel. Mother was startled by this news, for the ranch and horses had been her life. She bid mother farewell, and it was just days later mother would read in the newspaper all the gory details of the stabbing death of Margot. She was found dead in her home the victim of an especially brutal murder, and the boyfriend nowhere to be found.

Margo had made the decisions that would lead to her demise, becoming involved with a selfish monster. Despite her friends concerns she had made up her mind and it was no one else’s concern. Margo had been orphaned at age sixteen, yet her parents had left very well off, and had never know want. But she had many friends and was extremely giving, and despite every ones concerns, there could be no illusions, she had made the decision to attach herself to this man. What she actually experienced at the hands of this worthless gigolo is something we shall never know. She was a victim of someone who had no conscience, and I do not believe he was ever found. Hopefully, he is no longer taking up space, and I am certain that there is a special place in Hell for the likes of him! I still reverence my memories of Margot, all the fun times, and her infectious laughter, even after all these years. And yes, I still have that green suede coat.

I have yet another sordid tale of woman who let her heart rule her head. She was a member of the church that Tom co-pastor when we first married. She was a very colorful character, with quite the past, having been in San Diego in the early days of the US Navy’s presence there, and then in Alaska during the gold rush. She had made her living as a singer in some very unusual place, but somewhere along the way she became a Christian and would leave behind this former life. There was always something engagingly and amusing about Ella, and she would always sing at the top of her lungs. One particularly song she loved was, “How Great Thou Art.” She would sing that song with even greater gusto.

There was a dear couple in the congregation who would bring Ella to church, and often take her by the grocery store. They were sincere in their devotion and always made sure she was to want for nothing. One Sunday morning a man entered………. (continued next month)

 

 

now “owned” by her son. She controlled nothing. To make a long story short I will bypass the months spent with her attorney trying to reestablish her independence by proving she was lucid and of sound mind. It was no easy matter. She never did get all of her money and saving back, for her son had spent a goodly sum. She would discover that the jewelry that was in a safe deposit box now only had a few pieces, and he had cancelled all of her pledges to several benevolent groups telling them she was not in her right mind.

All of this was such a terrible burden on her and had debilitating effects on her health. Still she was determined to regain control, and she did and never regretted the effort it took. What she regretted was the decisions to turn all of her affairs over to him in the first place. It was very clear during the course of the hearings that it was all about his selfish desires. He fought her all the way, but the court found in her favor and forced her son to return all that he could, but much of the money was gone for good. Thankfully, the jewelry was found in the possession of his mistress, and when the verdict was handed down by the judge, he asked her if there was anything else, she answered, “Yes, your honor, I want to disinherit my son.”

It is very easy to look back over those agonizing years and see that she was mistaken to take into her confidence her larcenous son. He never intended to take care of her, there was never a hint that he would ever do the right thing concerning his mother’s well being. Even her home was only days away from going into escrow with some developer.

Celeste admitted that having her son assuming the role of administrator seemed like a good idea at the time, free of such burdens. She would hate herself for trusting him and not asking pertinent questions or doing things legally. Thankfully her son had the IQ of an asparagus, otherwise Celeste would have had a much more difficult time in court. The character that aided her son was not what one would consider brilliant, and his efforts to disguise what they were doing revealed their malfeasance his firm was involved in! Three cheers for mal-administration!!

Celeste would take that cruise to the Hawaiian Islands eventually with her lady friends. She needed that to rejuvenate her. “I have learned quite the lesson”, she would exclaim. Her wounds would heal with God’s grace, and she became quite the advocate for having all of one’s affairs in order and well laid out. She couldn’t stress enough the need to be prepared for the future to the point of not having to depend on anyone else for assistance, and that no one blindly allow someone else to handle personal business. One thing she was most adamant about was learning to think things out and listen to that wee small voice that may be trying to alert you.

This should be a lesson to everyone to be cautious, especially where your future is concerned. Trust is a delicate matter and having complete assurance can give you peace of mind that you are in good hands and that the person will not betray you. Again there are times in your life that you have an important decision to make, so give it thought and pray for guidance, and keep alert. Best of all you will have no regrets!

I have another story where common sense was not exercised, nor was good judgment. It is the story of a woman who was years ago a dear friend of my mother’s. I saw her as a charming, witty and sophisticated lady and it was always a delight to see her. She was tall, stately always looked chic in her basically western style of clothing, with a sense of glamour. She raised thoroughbred horses and lived on a wonderful California ranch. And was always willing to extend a hand to anyone in need. I say this to set the stage for what will happen to this exceptional woman.

Margot had never wed, saying she was married to the ranch, which she ran with aplomb. She had several hands for the horses and to keep the place positively immaculate. The main house was quite large and very Spanish in architecture, with grounds that were so inviting. I loved visits there, for Margot’s warmth made everyone feel welcomed and special. I cannot impress who she was enough, for what happened to Margot was   …..(Continued next month)

 

 

(From Sharon book, “Where to from Here”)

                                   CHAPTER EIGHT, ” BAD NEWS”

 

The news media is filled with stories of those unfortunate souls who have made poor decisions. Then there are also those despicable people who make those horrendous decisions that do harm to others. Seemingly on an everyday basis there are the wondrous and outrageous tales of great heroism and unspeakable acts of absolute evil. Each one stemming from a decision either positive or negative made by the individual who, for lack of a better word, performed such acts. Three cheers for those who unselfishly did what was needed in order to help a situation have a happy ending. Unfortunately, however, some that come to the rescue or are involved in some way do not themselves have a good story to tell but have become victims, and I pray none of them are ever forgotten for their bravery. There are the innocent bystander who is totally unaware of the danger imminently close and becomes a statistic by the hand of a psychopath or a casualty of nature’s wrath ending untimely in death or a debilitating handicap and terrible memories to endure the rest of their lives, all decisions that may make the news and then likely affect our lives. Even the decisions made in a voting booth have a residual effect on a nation.

That lesson is to vote wisely and think of how your decision will spell the outcome and future of your town, state, country and very likely the entire world.

Virtually, everyone makes decisions, and please note, all of them will have some influence on how, for good or bad, a life turns out. Every day of your existence can be determined and influenced by that fateful choice, and Heaven forbid it is a bad one. You can then quite honestly spend the rest of your life desperately trying to undo what took place. I have seen too many that lament that moment in their life when the day came say yea or nay to a choice, that they too hastily made and now they suffer the consequences of not being more circumspect about the consequences.

Whenever making a decision please think ahead, consider all the ramifications, all the circumstances and every detail that is encompassed and encapsulated in that decision. Your happiness could very well be what is at stake, and even your well being, your every breath you take thereafter. So have a care and remember the importance this may be for your life. Others may seem concerned, and are no doubt so, but it is your life and future. Those who are directly involved and in whom the decision will certainly affect need to be taken into consideration and given full regard. A consolation prize is not the key to happiness.

There is no necessity to please everyone. If you can consign the effort over to someone else, and be comfortable with the results, then by all means hand the responsibility over to whom ever you trust. But if you are not enthused with the outcome, then recruiting someone else to do this for you was a bad decision. But there is no time for recriminations in such an aftermath, but a time to reassess any damage and do what is necessary to rectify the situation. What is it going to take to correct things, certainly not developing a neurosis over the things that may looms over you like the sword of Damocles. To be brought to such desperation is not good for your health.

I am reminded of a woman, who shall be known as Celeste, who allowed her son to make every decision for her after her husband’s passing. He took full advantage of the position, and took control of all of her affairs down to the smallest detail. She paid no attention to what he was doing and would never read the papers he would place on her writing desk to sign. Her signature would be put on the dotted line and away he would go with all sorts of authority in his hands.

One day she and several of her friends who were also widowed made plans to go on a cruise to Hawaii. When her bank refused the check she wrote for the trip, the poor dear discovered that she was…..(continues next month)

somehow these ‘dreamers’ do not think it necessary to have paid their dues as it were, and so there they sit on the divan awaiting the phone call with the good news. Not too many contracts are handed out to those lacking the years of toil and learning that is required to obtain the key to the executive restroom!

It is curious where such ego comes from, not to forget the reluctance to work hard to make the grade. There is no doubt that unless endowed with an inheritance that leaves you as a chief executive officer, or a family member is tired of seeing you making a dent in the divan, that it is close to impossible for any wool gatherer to ever see any sort of job. This personality trait usually means that they are not motivated nor are they capable of holding on to a position for any length of time. So in a very short while after taking employment, they are seeking another place to work and end up unemployed as no boss is going to put up with that attitude for very long.

Was this drawn from a decision, or being use to having to do nothing for your wants and desires? Spoiling a child can and does lead to such dysfunctional behavior and lackadaisical attitude. Giving them all they want is definitely what so often leads to such a spirit of entitlement and hence a non-motivated individual who does not keep a job, as interest wanes in little time. I have not seen this disposition reversed and insomuch as it is a ‘hand-made’ characteristic it is so woven into to muscle and sinew of a child for so long that it is the dominant personality trait. Sadly, this one will have to be lived with unless inroads can be made into this person’s psyche wherein reason can become a penetrating force to dislodge the stubborn nature that now prevails. A decision was made, whether deliberately or inadvertently this lies on the ones responsible for the rearing of this child. I find it in many cases to be laziness on the adults part, it is easier for them to give in than to have to correct the child and reprimand if necessary.

Obviously, there was a decision made to be so lenient on the child that to spoil the little one was the choice. I will add not a good choice, for it is difficult for a spoiled child to enter in with a group of children and adjust to the group mentality of sharing and cooperating. The adjustment period, if there ever is one can take an extremely long time and be a grueling experience for the child in question. In the process there is the chance that there will be rivalries that can lead to complications, and depending on the person or persons in charge someone could get hurt. Hopefully there are keen eyes keeping a close watch on all the comings and goings.

The word no is one that should be learned from the start, and taught so that no pouting is allowed. No, for the most part is for the child’s own good, as in stopping a toddler from running out into the street, and I needn’t take that any further! “Do not touch that” is still another phrase that has it’s merit, especially if the child is ready to handle a priceless antique! My sister has good advice for any new parents who didn’t think teaching obedience necessary…She asks, ”What if your child were playing with a loaded gun and proceeded to point it at you or him or herself? Would it be put down immediately when you said to do so?” The consequences of what could happen when a child is undisciplined in such a way are unthinkable. It is a good lesson for parents and hopefully one they will take very seriously.

 

CHAPTER EIGHT

BAD NEWS

 

The news is filled with stories of those unfortunate souls who made poor decisions, and then there are also those despicable people who made horrendous decisions and did harm to others. On an everyday basis there are the wondrous and outrageous tales of great heroism and unspeakable acts of absolute evil. Each one is stemmed from a decision either positive or negative made by the individual who, for lack of a better word, performed the deed. Three cheers for those who unselfishly did what was needed in order to help a situation have a happy ending. Unfortunately,….

 

finding a renewed awareness of who you are and what it is like to work with you, let us proceed. Present yourself with chin held high and recognize your capabilities and talents. Bring to that interview, and possibly your next job, the experience that you have had and knowing what pitfalls to avoid. Let a certain air about you tell them that you will be an asset to their business and can be a success as an employee with much to give and needing very little ‘maintenance’.

There are very few consequences if you interview well and make a good impression on the interviewees. As this world keeps dummying down and real sophistication and intellect is slowly becoming a thing of the past, the person that knows how to handle him or herself will definitely be a favorable choice over others. Do not mistake sophistication for the stiff protocol required at meetings of state, no, just a person with an ease about them and knowing the decorum required in any given situation will also make others very comfortable as well.

We never have a second chance at a first impression, so keep that in mind as you make a stand for who you are and how well suited you are for the position. Bragging is nauseating, and unless this is a den of over rated, ego centric swankpots, and possessing braggadocio is a requirement, this just may be one of those waste of time meetings. Go on your way, for such misuse of time has no place in your daily planner.

Common sense goes a long way in making the best of an interview. Your experience and a well laid out resume also plays a big part in helping you stand out in this particular crowd. Some things are just not meant to be and no matter what strategy you use, this will go down as just another learning encounter. But the operative word is learning, and what did you walk away with from having gone on that particular interview? Analyze the event and see if you think there were any opportunities where you could have excelled, who got the job would be a help if you knew that, we can and should learn from others. Both good and bad examples can be of immeasurable help for your future occasions where the lesson is applicable. I am certain that the model who swooped into the office of the editor of a fashion magazine wishes to this day that she had looked in a full length mirror before making her grand entrance with about four feet of toilet paper stuck to her heel!. May I say any model who has heard this story learned from that poor dears faux pas.

No one is perfect for every job, so it is incumbent upon you to be objective about yourself. Having an understanding about how job hunting can be and being flexible will help you through the selection process. Many people have had to spend months and unfortunately years seeking employment. With that some fall in the category of being too picky and some just having a far too high an opinion of themselves. Either of these are going to narrow the field considerably for job placement. I have known of people who have had job opportunities literally handed to them, and they refuse to take it because it does not conform to their wants and wishes. After all if you desire to go in at an executive entry level, perhaps having some knowledge and skills on the subject would be helpful. But somehow these ‘dreamers’ do not think it necessary to have paid their dues as it were, and so there they sit on the divan awaiting the phone call with the good news. Not too many contracts are handed out to those lacking the years of toil and learning that is required to obtain the key to the executive restroom!

It is curious where such ego comes from, not to forget the reluctance to work hard to make the grade. There is no doubt that unless endowed with an inheritance that leaves you as a chief executive officer, or a family member is tired of seeing you making a dent in the divan, that it is close to impossible for any wool gatherer to ever see any sort of job. This personality trait usually means that they are not motivated nor are they capable of holding on to a position for any length of time. So in a very short while after taking employment, they are seeking another place to work and end up unemployed as no boss is going to put up with that attitude for very long.

Was this drawn from a decision, or being use to having to do nothing for your wants and desires? Spoiling a child can and does lead to such dysfunctional behavior and lackadaisical attitude. Giving them all they want is definitely what so often leads to such a spirit of entitlement and hence a non-motivated individual who does not keep a job, as interest wanes in little time. I have not seen this disposition reversed and insomuch as it is a ‘hand-made’ characteristic it is so woven into to muscle and sinew of a child for so long that it is the dominant personality trait. Sadly,…..

in line for the same position as you, well the rules of the game are cast aside for a contest of diabolical proportions. Under these circumstances things can and will become so out of hand that it usually ends up with one or both being terminated from their job and it quite handily passed over to someone else, and now I ask the long awaited question… WHERE TO FROM HERE?

To be unemployed is a disheartening place to be in one’s life, and, if you are so because of circumstances you brought about, well that is even worse. The complications and disappointments that accompany this condition lend themselves to an array of emotions that for the most part are detrimental and can be damaging to one’s health and state of mind…in other words, your well-being. If the job lost was one you held for many years and had based your lifestyle around all the benefits thereof, it makes it all the more difficult to find one that keeps you in your comfort zone and enjoying the routine habits you have become accustomed to.

Add to this the chance that you were an employee regarded as adverse and inauspicious, a letter of recommendation will perchance speak of you as deficient of the qualities needed for placement in your chosen vocation. If your vexation wasn’t enough, finding out that your former employer finds it necessary to forewarn about you, now what do you do to rectify this daunting mess you find yourself in?

There are several ways to approach this without seeming foolish or too presumptuous. Always taking the high road is the way to properly handle such a situation. Bringing yourself down to a low level will get you absolutely nowhere, and may I add, if that is what it takes to get back in the good graces of your patron, well, you are better off without the likes of such a bore.

If it is possible for you to make and appointment to see the person responsible for writing your letter of recommendation and it is appropriate procedure at that establishment, then by all means make an entree to face your ‘accuser’. Looking your best and having your business like behavior well at hand, approach them with a modicum of assurance and a nice blend of humility. If there is a particular event that can be explained without taking too much time, do so. Otherwise it is best to state why you have returned and that you hope you can rectify the situation. Your intentions are to hopefully clear yourself to the point where they can recommend you without reservations or at least to where they are not putting their reputation on the line. Make them feel at ease about saying nice things about you and putting on paper favourable comments that may hopefully get you placement you seek elsewhere.

Another suggestion is to send a letter to the correct department and state your case. Again sincerely making it clear that you are heartily sorry for all that had taken place to get you fired. It does not hurt to let them know how much you enjoyed working there and that you wish that you could make everything right again. But you would hope that they could forgive you your discrepancies and find it in their hearts to please send a letter of recommendation that states the positive and omits the negative. Thank them very much in advance and hope for the best.

Now, be honest with yourself and do keep in mind just how serious your offense was, you asking for a letter of recommendation could just be the last straw and get you nowhere fast. Heaven forbid you rekindle any ill feelings you left behind, and end up with them finding your overt obnoxious nerve just what they needed to have their attorney send you a letter! So you be the judge and ask yourself if a return engagement is the prudish thing to do, or are you just asking for the ultimate intimidation.

So it is back to the drawing board, and after dusting off the old ashes, reignite that fire and get back to the job of diligently seeking employment. That is indeed a job in and of itself! Perhaps the most difficult of all, but assuming that you are determined and hopefully ……

 

Sharon Wyatt’s           WHERE TO FROM HERE”                         By the Way

(This is the last book Sharon wrote/ We will of course finish, and then we                                                                                    will feature her biography, which is being transcribed from a handwritten manuscript)

Part 3 of Chapter 7

“Learning from Others?”

 

……they can come in clusters and be layered one on top the other. They can be insignificant in and of themselves, but collectively they weigh heavily on your life and need immediate attention in order for you to move on in hopefully the right direction. Some decisions can safely be put on the back burner and addressed another day. I could be so obvious as to use a fire as an illustration, do you attempt to extinguish it or sit back and ponder it? This is quite silly but it makes a point, some decisions demand immediate attention or it is going to get out of hand and could end up as a terrible disaster.   No one needs destruction to fall in all around them, especially when you could have prevented it early on before it became a four alarm fire! Keep your head at such times when a swift decision must be made, but do not procrastinate if waiting could make things worse in the process. Hoping you are never in such a situation, but always being prepared and having a plan for anything that may come your way will have you on the right tract.

Most of us do things with such routine that we do not even consider that there were decisions made during the course of any of these daily rituals. Pavlov’s dog is a good example of this; a bell rings and we answer the phone, another bell rings and we answer the door, still another bell rings and we get the cloths out of the dryer. We are conditioned just as that infamous dog was. But even in that mundane bit of work we made a decision…as to wanting to answer the phone or door or can the clothes wait a few minutes longer. Now what if the phone call was someone calling with an important message that demanded your immediate attention and you missed it? Regrets, I’m sure. And at the door, was someone wanting you to know that the lights were left on in your car? And the dryer, well, your cashmere sweater now fits your toy poodle!

So treat important decisions intelligently, remembering that most of them are with you all of your life in one way or another. Who you decided to marry or if you have decided not to marry, either one will have a profound effect on your life. Where you decided to live can have both a positive and negative influence over you, so make certain it is where you want to be. If your location is predicated on your vocation and where that is found on the globe, then make sure you are living in an area you are pleased with. It will determine much as to your state of mind if you are pleased with your surroundings. It may require you spending more time than you wish in finding the best you can get, but in the long run it is well worth it. What you have chosen your vocation to be and how you make your living is a huge decision, and if it isn’t what you want to do or desire for your life, this can lead to great unhappiness and dysfunction.

The overall picture of a happily contented person is usually what everyone aspires to. They possess a certain je ne sais quoi that can be enviable even in the least of conditions. To attain such a station in life determines very much on you, and here it comes again…the decisions that you make! Yes, those all too often taken too casually and cavalierly events in one’s life where a decision could make or break the future. This determination to get to the top and be a success is not a bad trait, but it can lead to aberrant behavior that is unbecoming and very undesirable. Advising you to be choosey when working your way up the ladder is sound guidance, but this is not to say act like a contentious, contemptible oaf in the process. Arousing someone’s ire brings about a long list of negative possibilities that could have dire consequences for you and your quest. To have to contend with what could be a never ending succession of stumbling blocks, laid in your path by a serious saboteur who has a vendetta against you, could spell the end for your intentions. A vindictive person is easily inspired to do their worst against you, and if this vitriolic soul happens to be…..

Continued next month