(The conclusion of Sharon book, “Where to from Here”
Chapter 12, part three
All of which justified in his mind that he could with impunity cheat on his income taxes, and just about everything else. This made any relationship with him difficult, then we discovered he was also deeply involved with pornography, which made any association impossible. I would tell him he was ensnared in horrendous life choices, which would destroy him. To shake up his complacency, I cut off all contact in hopes of impressing on him his need to change. We had tried but sometimes there is no interested in learning or changing.
Then there is the story of Carol, who despite all my efforts was seemingly incapable of making the right decisions for her life. Carol was born to privilege and never wanted for anything. Her father was one of the most respected architects in the nation. Yet despite this she would face something none of us should have to face, which affected the rest of her life. Her mother committed suicide. Add to this was that her final note compared Carol unfavorably to me, and my accomplishments as a teenager. It was unfair, and I felt deeply distressed by all this. I suppose I tried to somehow make up for it, by doing all I could to include Carol in whatever I was doing; drama, dance, just our outings as teenagers, even included her in my wedding party.
But as she reached her twenties her decisions revealed self-destructiveness. She rejected all my advice and became quite promiscuous, which I found quite embarrassing. And especially uncomfortable when she would persistently urged me to follow her example, rather than her following mine. This would be followed by her making several suicides attempts, then she would move in with a man, and manipulated him into marriage. However, the “marriage” was violent, at one point even life threatening. He threw her down the basement stairs. But she felt being a married woman was more important than her own life. All the years that I pushed for sane and careful decisions went for naught. Her decisions were usually without any serious consideration, or concern for the consequences. Her husband would force her to move from Pasadena, to Iowa, then Florida, with more violence and pain, where I eventually lost all contact with her until I learned that she had died, how and in what way I do not know.
She had the best psychiatric help money could buy, without any perceivable change, which soured me on that “profession.” Her “need” for acceptance and “love,” would never be met given her choices. It was so sad, and nothing I had tried, said, or did helped. For some it is just not possible without God’s intervention, but then one must be willing to accept God’s word, and yes, His help. It is surprising how many are not willing.
It is clear that decisions are important. The choices we make, even the small one, can have far reaching consequences for good or ill. So it is imperative that we always endeavor to make the best decisions we possibly can. We are thinking rational being, and should learn from what has befallen others, think carefully about how our decisions may affect others, and understand that some will be resistant to the changes that good decisions will make. We need to listen to others, who have the experience and obvious wisdom, think about the consequences of our choices, and realize the positive and negative prospects of those decisions. So with all that, where to from here? Surely to something better, something richer, something that will better our lives, and those we love, because now surely our choices will be made on the solid ground of careful thought, reasons, and always the guidance of the Holy Spirit. God will bless the wise and thoughtful choices made in prayer.
(It was Sharon wish that you dear people would enjoy her insights, and many illustrations on our need to make good decisions. Next month, as promised, we will begin Sharon’s autobiography. Those early years of hers in the various venues of show business, then meeting who would be her future husband, and their first few years together)